On how our Creator is creatively reminding me of my coming helplessness
For a little more than a year now, I’ve been experiencing “mental hiccups” during conversations with others.
I have a thought, and I decide to voice it.
I get roughly 30 percent into my subject, and I draw a complete blank.
It seems nouns are the usual stumbling blocks.
Because my dad died after a 10-year battle with Alzheimer’s disease, I was alarmed by the frequent “blank screens” where once actual words resided. (Great words, sometimes with three or four syllables.)
So I voiced these fears to my doctor, who promptly asked: “When you lose a word are you aware you lost it, and frustrated that you can’t get it back?”
“Yes,” I nearly shouted. “Yes, I do.” (Oh, this guy is smart, I mused.)
“Well then,” he answered, “you don’t have dementia, Curt. You’re
just getting old.” (Thank you, Doc. That’s so much better.)
Bless her heart, my wife Mary Beth will patiently pitch word after word at me when I am stymied, most often filling in the blank and sending me on my way in three to four attempts.
“Honey, where are my —”
“Sunglasses?” (I shake my head.)
“Keys?” (Still shaking.)
Still, it is a nagging, albeit minor issue, that I assume will dog me for the rest of my days.
Isn’t this another example of the creativity of our loving God?
We begin our lives absolutely helpless, grow in stature, intellect and spirituality for 18 to 20 years, live the next half century or so believing there is nothing we can’t do and, when the time is right, God eases us back toward helplessness to begin preparing for another birth.
God ensures that we will, at some time in our lives, find our humility. If we can’t find it, how will we be able to meet Jesus face to face?
Good stewards of our relationship with the Risen Christ, let’s mine the depth of our hearts this week, in search of our humility.
Trust me — you don’t want to wait for God to start playing with your nouns.
Curt Hanson, Director of Stewardship and Development, Diocese of Saint Cloud